Content Warning: Grief and image of gravestones
Note: I loved the scenes where Bernard and Daiyu team up and travel north, but in the end, I cut this entire variation because if Corvin and the city guard retained any competency, Bernard would not have been able to escape this easily. This version would have left the reader in the dark about Bernard's family until much later. I added Prisha's POV when I scrapped the first draft and restarted, so it made sense for her and Bernard to escape together instead.
I sat on my knees in the graveyard, gravel and dirt grinding into my knees despite the trousers.
Lei Zhao. My brother.
Mei Zhao. My mother.
Emptiness. I’d lost everyone. Someone could have stabbed me through the chest and missed, because I was an empty chasm. Just a shell.
I curled forward, hot tears leaking between my fingers until sobs escaped. The thinking part of me disappeared. Loss wrapped its cold fingers around my soul until I cried it out.
A hand touched my shoulder, sending gooseflesh down my arms. I twisted from my position, thinking for one stupid moment it was Lei.
I came face-to-face with Bernard. I’d have sobbed again if I’d had any tears left.
“What do you want?” I said weakly.
“Nothing.” He cleared his throat. “I’m sorry.” He nodded toward my family.
“You aren’t the one who let Lei die or lied about my mom’s health.”
He sighed and wiped an eye. He pointed at my pack with his foot. “Going somewhere?”
“Why do you care?”
Bernard adjusted his own pack, carefully balancing his spear in one hand. “I’m going north. You can come with me, if you’d like.”
Travel with a battle hardened soldier or alone. I’d be an idiot not to go with him instead of by myself. I struggled up to standing, wincing as my legs tingled.
“Don’t you have a family or something?” I asked. He never shut up about how much he loved his wife and daughter when I was around him earlier this year, back when Jase and I were together. I ignored the twinge in my heart. I couldn’t handle another drop of sadness.
Bernard frowned. “They are safe. It’s better for you to not know details.”
I scowled. “Don’t trust me? I know what they say.”
It had gotten worse since I accosted the healer and Jase bore my punishment for me.
“She’s completely mad,” people would mutter when I passed them on the street.
He rubbed his thumb absentmindedly against his spear. “I don’t care what other people say. But if someone asks you if you know where my family is, I’d prefer to not put you in a position where you have to lie. Especially to a seer. Make sense?”
I twisted a lock of hair too tightly, the tinge of discomfort anchoring me in reality.
“It makes sense,” I muttered, releasing my hair and bending to retrieve my things.
He’d been at Jase’s almost execution last night. I’d gotten lost in the crowd, but once Jase burst into flames, I couldn’t take my eyes off him.
“I care about you, Daiyu, but we cannot be together. The slaps, the insults... you shouldn’t treat people like that. I won’t be your target anymore.”
I’d kicked him in the balls after that. Then he’d left for the northern invasion just weeks later, taking my brother with him. As much as his abandonment hurt, I still loved him. And when he revealed his fire, I knew I had to find him.
I might be mad, but he’s a monster. And I love him anyway. Surely, he’ll see that we are meant to be.
A hand waved in front of my face and I flinched.
“You were so still and just staring. I thought maybe you were sleeping with your eyes open.” Bernard’s concerned green irises searched my face.
“I get lost in my thoughts sometimes,” I mumbled as I shifted my pack to a better spot on my back and adjusted the shoulder straps and bow.
“As long as you’re awake, I’m sure that’s fine,” he said with a sniff.
“I’m fine.”
“Good. Let’s get out the gates before someone comes looking for one or the other of us.”
I nodded, and we picked out way out of the graveyard and to a side street. Bernard led us through the lesser used alleys and decrepit roads until we reached the north gate. The guards vociferously questioned everyone, and they halted our departure as well.
“Names and reason for exit?” A guard asked.
Bernard spoke with an even thicker accent than normal, making it almost impossible to understand. He said something about, “goin’ home to see my ailin’ cousin,” or some other such nonsense.
The guard huffed with an eyeroll and fastened his gaze on me. “And you?”
I stared at him and pointed to my mouth with a shake of my head to indicate I was unable to speak.
His nostrils flared.
“Fine. Just go.” He waved us through.
At least something went right for once.
댓글